Happy Stress Awareness Month! (Didn’t know this was a thing? Me neither but I am HERE FOR IT.)
I am acutely aware of my stress. Honestly, it’s hard not to be when it regularly makes me feel like I’m either going to puke or shit!
But really, it’s something I know and do well, and have for a long time.
It landed me in the ER twice in one week a few years back. It’s why my cuticles are usually bleeding. It’s the reason I need to apply extra-strength deodorant several times a day. It’s the culprit behind (very frequent) package deliveries.
And, about a month ago, it caused my period to go MIA.
Why am I (over)sharing this with you?
Because lately I’ve been reflecting a lot on how I manage stress, and I think you should, too.
A wise woman (my therapist) once told me that being aware of our bodily signals is key in effectively managing stress. She helped me tune into how stress manifests itself in my body, which I was quick to recognize and even quicker to ignore.
Until I couldn’t anymore.
Waking up with my heart pounding and difficulty breathing? No thanks. Unrelenting stomach aches and nausea? Not fun. Throw in a daily breakdown and then it’s just plain disruptive. (Especially when they are perfectly timed with your 1:1 with your manager.)
And yet that’s where I found myself a month ago. As a Virgo who prefers to show the my-shit-is-always-together side of myself versus the I-am-stressed-and-struggling side, this was admittedly unpleasant, but, in retrospect, necessary and humbling.
Back in the fall, the stress and overwhelm of my new ~corporate~ job had really set in and so had my stomach issues. I knew it was my body’s not-so-subtle way of encouraging me to do a literal gut check. Instead of addressing it, I casually brought it up to some friends who were like, “That’s bad, it’s definitely because of your job, F*CK that job, quit that shit ASAP!” But, I was determined to stay at it a little longer, thinking it would get easier and better (and all those other little lies we tend to tell ourselves).
As it turns out, stress doesn’t go away the more you ignore it.
Last month, when my body sent yet another signal, I finally clued in. My missed cycle forced me to get real about what was going on. I ended up leaving that job I knew had not been working for a long time. I cried and cried (partly because, in classic Virgo form, I felt like I was quitting/failing/giving up—a story for another time), but also because I was so relieved and excited to wake up without a pit in my stomach.
TL;DR: My gut instinct is something I’ve trusted and turned to my entire life. When I stop doing that, things go sideways. So, this month, I’m being very intentional in my efforts to tune into those signals and figure out a way to manage/get out ahead of them. I’m inviting you to do the same.
Here are a few things that have been working for me lately:
Breathing. Like the kind you do in yoga class. Big, slow, deep. Sometimes I use a guided meditation app (they’re popular for a reason). Sometimes I don’t. I’ve been breathing in the morning before getting out of bed, at red lights, in the shower, on walks. It’s simple, but it’s making a noticeable difference.
Lists. I LOVE a list. And I particularly love my list of self-care practices. It’s a quick and simple reminder of what I enjoy doing and what makes me feel relaxed and restored. I also love a to-do list, a gratitude list, a brain dump list… whatever floats your boat!
Breaks. Often for walks, mostly from screens. There is a reason I don’t have an Instagram or news apps on my phone. It’s too much for my brain to process (and usually leads to more packages on my doorstep).
Fluids. I’m not just talking about refilling my Stanley all day. I mean limiting the booze. Hangxiety is real people and isn’t usually worth the second glass (bottle) of wine at dinner.
Opening up. My husband used to be the only person I would talk to, and while he is patient and supportive and wonderful, he is only one person. I’ve been pushing myself to be more open and vulnerable lately (read: this newsletter). It can be uncomfy, but it’s helped me be kinder to myself and has deepened a lot of my relationships.
The takeaway here: learn from me!!! Don’t let your stress get to this point. Maybe you don’t need to quit your job, but ask yourself: what can I be doing this month to feel less stressed? 🫶🏻
Virgo Queen 👸🏻
Very proud and always enthralled when I get a chance to read her work. Spot on every time.
first time having the opportunity to read my sister’s writing in too long - what a treat! thanks emma for opening yourself up & allowing us to walk with and learn from you. looking forward to the next